The Word "Obsolete" Will Soon Be Obsolete 

I love Back to the Future: Part II mostly because I love what people in 1989 thought 2015 would look like. While not all of their predictions are on the path to being realized (Dear Mattel: Stop ignoring my phone calls! I. want. a. hoverboard!), there are a few that seem to be shockingly accurate…like the Cubs winning the World Series.

Okay…just playin’. That’s one of the scenes depicted in the movie that’s heavily ensconced in the fantasy world. …But Miami did end up with a pro baseball team as the movie predicts.

So, I’ve been thinking about the future…about 25 years into the future. My thoughts have led me to a list of things that I believe will be completely obsolete at that time (note: in most cases, I have absolutely no evidence that we’re working on technology to replace these things, I’m just going by gut feeling)…

Paperclips – I assume that someone will invent slightly magnetized and affordable paper. Magnets are always somehow involved in the wave of the future. Maglev Bullet Train? Magnets. Magna-doodle? Also magnets. See what I mean? The future is now!

Euclidean Geometry – Upon discovering that space in the universe is curved, all relevant points of Euclidean Geometry will become obsolete. The study of Geometry in high school will be replaced by “Advanced Multiplication Tables”…however…multiplication will also become obsolete in the coming years for reasons that I won’t get into. The study of multiplication will then be replaced by the math of least resistance. Perhaps… “How to Make Change.”

T-shirts – Our species will have evolved to grow a third, but only slightly useful arm. Since two arm holes will no longer be sufficient, eBay will experience an influx of antique White Snake Concert T-shirts.

French (the language, not the people) – French will become only slightly less useful than Latin. Heed this warning and return your software to Rosetta Stone immediately!

Butter knives – Remember when I said that the future was all about magnets? Well…it’s all about lasers too. Toss that old butter knife in the trash…it’s time for a magnet-powered laser butter cutter.

Some of these seemed so obvious that I felt foolish to take the time to explain them.

So what do you think will be completely obsolete in 10? 15? 25 years? Newspapers? Books? Computer keyboards?


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