A year? A damn year?
Believe it. I've finished my first year in Charleston. For an experience that I thought would range just below "craptacular" on my scale of lifetime enjoyment, I have to say, Charleston, you've impressed me.
I was pissed when I found out we were moving here.
Pissed may not be strong enough a word. Apoplectic. Being angry to the point of not being able to move or speak. There. I was apoplectic. Much better.
But... I came, I saw, I drank sweet tea.
I realized that me lamenting about my life is much like the popped-collar asshole at Starbucks who complains about not being able to get change for a $100 bill after he orders his latte.
It's hardly a tragic situation.
In fact, although it's a very real problem to the person experiencing it, it's just f-ing annoying to everyone else within earshot.
I moved to a new city with better weather, I drive about once a week, I got a new job with a healthy raise, and I get to see my husband nearly twice as much as I used to.
Yeah, you can call me a bitch. I deserve it for those few months when I was pulling that "woe is me" routine. I was scared. Am I allowed to be scared? The data set that I plugged into my supposed equation of lifetime happiness was almost completely tossed out the window in favor of a new set of points. How would I know if I’d get the same result?
For a while, it seemed like life was an endless replay of the first day at school. It's an exhilarating and terrifying experience at the same time. ...especially for someone who grew up as a painfully shy kid. Okay, I was shy, but at least I wasn't that kid who used to piss himself in his desk. I can't imagine reliving a day like that over and over again. I might have had a job offer or two rescinded after experiencing half a dozen cubicle puddles.
I even remember his name...Mike K. ....and I never saw him again after first grade.
That's not the kind of impression I ever want to make on people, but at least I'll always have the benchmark that he set.
Where was I?
Ah yes, in the middle of my introspection.
It’s an old sentiment…but one that applies here:
Bloom where you’re planted.
I was so pissed that I got buried in this pot of dirt, that for a while there…I forgot to bloom. I forgot that it’s something I should even attempt doing.
But hey, it’s been a year. I’m better for it.
And the constant in my life, Seth, makes me feel positive that no matter what inputs I plug into my happiness equation…we’ll always generate increasing returns to scale.
< /nerdy sentiment>