Five Finger Discounts Just Got Easier... 

So, I’ve started an “art project.” Seth gets a look of panic on his face whenever I say I want to start an “art project.” A lot of my ideas never come to fruition, but I really hit the ground running on this one. I’ll plan to display the finished product and a brief summary of the steps involved when it’s completed (I’m at about 40% right now, and I already think it’s SCRUMPTULESCENT). What I can tell you about my mysterious deed, is that it takes plenty of glue. Gorilla Glue: The Strongest Glue on Earth. Now, just in case you ever plan on gluing things for various shits and giggles, let me lend a word to the wise….

When you go to buy glue at the hardware store, and you read the bottle of glue that says, “use gloves while working with the glue.” It might be of use to heed that advice.

When the lady who works at the hardware store reiterates that directive, do not look at her with the same look of contempt that I did, and say, “Pfffft. Whatever, hardware store lady. I’ve been using glue since I was in preschool.”

On Friday, I glued about 500 separate pieces of my project (seriously). Now...on Monday… I still have solid-black, tacky fingers. I feel like the fly. I can pick up pieces of paper by simply touching them with the tips of my fingers. I haven’t tried to scale any walls, but I imagine that I’d have a fair amount of success at that as well.

At the very best, it looks like I don’t take care in washing myself since it’s like black, sticky, hand dandruff.

So there you go; News you can use.


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