Unfortunately, those in my audience (unlike Oprah's) won't be handed a truckload of Omaha Steaks or the World's Greatest Emery Board when I've finished.
I love it when strangers are eavesdropping on my conversations and then laugh (presumably) because I've said something funny.
"Ooo! Strangers think I'm funny! Big warm fuzzy for Kerry!"
One of the last times it happened, we were in line for movie tickets...
Kerry: "$10 for a movie ticket! That's absurd! But look...it says that Manatees get in for $5.50. Seth, help me perfect my manatee impression so the ticket guy doesn't catch on...
I'm a Manatee. You may also refer to me as Dugong or Sea Cow. Oooggggaaaaaahhhhhh."
Seth: "Kerry...that says matinee."
Kerry: "DAMN IT!"
(Stranger behind us in line laughs)
I say stupid things. A lot. Sometimes my family and friends are desensitized to my extraordinary wit (that's the theory I'm goin' with. No comments please), and don't see the absolute hilarity in a manatee joke.
Thank you to the lady behind us in line. You're the first person to ever laugh at that one....and I've been saying it for years. You've given me the encouragement that I'll need to tell it for years to come.