I opened my screen door this morning and felt some resistance. Then I heard a little groan and looked down...
I had just whacked a poor little turtle. He looked up at me and opened his mouth. I'm pretty sure he was trying to say, "fuck you." ...but it came out as another little groan instead.
Yes, I screamed. I screamed over a turtle. A tiny 8 inch turtle on my porch.
I didn't know that there were vagabond turtles just roving around the suburbs, so I tried to grab my camera. But sadly, Yertle had already started to make his retreat.