I hear the same things over and over again...

"Kerry...you don't post anymore."

"Kerry...you aren't funny on your blog anymore."

"Kerry...you're so good looking. You would be doing a great disservice to the world if you didn't procreate for the sake of the species!"


Well...maybe I hear that last one slightly more frequently than the other two.

Point being...I'm still alive! and well! and beautiful! and etc!

We just got back from another short stay in DC. I'm really loving our mini adventures on the east coast...especially DC. Every time I'm there it feels like the mother ship is calling me home.

People are so smart and refined there...like ...I went into a restaurant and they handed me some type of cloth.

Kerry: "What do you call this? What is its purpose?"

Waitress: "Ma'am, that's a napkin. It keeps food from falling on your lap."

Kerry: "NAP-KIN? Hmmm, a brilliant notion. I shall bring knowledge of these devices back to the South. No more food-stained crotches!"


So...I'm not really living in the South-South. But there are some things that I haven't quite become accustomed to. Like the celebration of Lee Jackson Day.

Kerry: "Who's Lee Jackson? Did he invent pulled barbecued pork or something?"

Everyone (giving me a facial expression with the verbal equivalent of "wtf?"): "Uhhh...it's actually a celebration in honor of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson."

Kerry: "The hell you say! Hey, have you guys seen my NAP-KINS!?"

Everyone: "It was formerly a day to include honor to Martin Luther King Jr as well (Lee-Jackson-King Day), but they've since separated the two."

Kerry: "I see. Huh. How 'bout that. Probably better that way. I mean...since that'll be two days off instead of one."

Everyone: "Damn straight."