It's a freakin new year. 


I could give you some lame cliche resolutions about how I'm going to lose weight, organize my life, or stop sprinkling crack cocaine on my pop-tarts in the morning, but the truth of the matter is...I won't keep 'em. Pop-tarts without a little sprinkling of the good stuff is like tuna fish without lamb.

Before I look ahead...let's take a tiny look back at what I did in 2006. Hmmm...

worked at my new job.
endured 6 months of solitude.

Not exactly inspired accomplishments. I've depressed you.
Go ahead and pop a Prozac. ...I'll wait.

Okay, now that we're back to happy land, let's look ahead to the awe-inspiring nonsense I'll be accomplishing in 2007...

None of that going to the gym stuff...at least not until March. At that time, the once inspired many who made resolutions to lose weight will hop back aboard the twinkie train and leave my gym a lot less crowded. So there's goal number one: wait until March and then workout until a point where I can make 100 people hate me because of my body.

Goal Number Two: Learn Cantonese. If this cannot be accomplished, eat Cantonese.

Goal Number Three: Stop lying about my score on the ACT (got a 34). Enough time has passed and I think I should tell the truth (got a 35, but didn't wanna brag).

Goal Number Four: Incorporate bacon into 80% of my meals (not to include the works of Francis Bacon).

Goal Number Six: Learn to Count

Goal Number Seven: Learn to breakdance before the next office Christmas Party (Note: 79% Complete: have already rented 'Breakin' and turned my baseball cap to the side)

Goal Number Eight: Write 4 posts every single week. OK...I'll really try.


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