"We once had a girl who worked here...long long time ago...we called her 'Kerry: Carver of Gourds'. People trembled in her wake. She could do things with a miniature pumpkin saw that would make you shit your pants with awe."
There have been questions as to whether the photo of La Gioconda a la Kerry (she likes to be called by her full name) in the post below is actually of the one I carved, or if it was a picture of one I found on the internet...
Well, yes, that is my pumpkin, but I have a hard time proving it. I took a picture of me with my loser, but it doesn't look very nice because in order to see me, I had to use the flash, and you can't see the pumpkin displayed correctly. So you'll just have to take my word for it. What do you care anyways? La Gioconda a la Kerry is a loser.
Update: let the rot begin...I went out to my porch to blow out her candle and found AT LEAST 40 slugs crawling in her crevices. Uggggghhhh, gross. I wondered why no one else had pumpkins on their porches. At least I can be satisfied in knowing La Gioconda a la Kerry is delicious.